tmaugham
115 posts
msg #48616
- Ignore tmaugham |
12/14/2006 3:07:09 PM
Kentucky boys...
Bubba and Billy Joe are walking down the street, and they see a sign
on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each,
trousers $2.50 each.
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole
gob of these, take'em back to Lexington, sell 'em to our friends, and
make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your
accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that
stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Ohio drawl so's they don't know
we is from Kentucky."
They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Ohio drawl, "I'll take
50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00
each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my
pickup and....."
"The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from Kentucky, ain't ya?"
"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba.... "How come you knowed that?"
"Because this is a dry-cleaners."
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TheRumpledOne
6,529 posts
msg #48653
- Ignore TheRumpledOne |
12/16/2006 11:08:46 AM
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman
wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't
place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" To which
she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his
mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his
wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while
your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes
and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher
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ham1198
174 posts
msg #48670
- Ignore ham1198 |
12/16/2006 9:34:53 PM
...if you haven't heard this, it's pretty funny:
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com...
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traderblues
195 posts
msg #49598
- Ignore traderblues |
1/26/2007 5:41:42 PM
A gas station in Kentucky was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up".
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged. He doesn't really give away free sex."
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged ----- my wife won twice last week."
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TheRumpledOne
6,529 posts
msg #49599
- Ignore TheRumpledOne |
1/26/2007 5:42:08 PM
Oldie but goodie...
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lockwhiz
206 posts
msg #49605
- Ignore lockwhiz |
1/26/2007 7:05:41 PM
"I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!"
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach-ache and legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.
" Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
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rtucker
318 posts
msg #49618
- Ignore rtucker
modified |
1/27/2007 12:27:36 AM
a
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maxreturn
745 posts
msg #49620
- Ignore maxreturn
modified |
1/27/2007 8:08:01 AM
rtucker....PRICELESS!
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TheRumpledOne
6,529 posts
msg #49624
- Ignore TheRumpledOne |
1/27/2007 11:18:04 AM
rtucker...
Life is just too dang funny, isn't it?
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TheRumpledOne
6,529 posts
msg #49826
- Ignore TheRumpledOne |
2/4/2007 10:58:08 PM
Son asked his mother the following question:
"Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies,
"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.
"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
"Son, all household appliances come in white."
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